Forgotpassword
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User ID: 1865
Forgotpassword
5mo ago
And in some cases 'the doctor was only able to ensure 5% QOL heartbeat continuation by 3 months instead of 3 years fighting to the end' isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Forgotpassword
5mo ago
Personally I'd much rather productive labor market participants, ideally having a work-related visa contingent on a job paying >80th percentile and with their employer having to provide a clear plan towards how they will in future enable that role to be filled by locals. There are definitely some downsides of this form of migration. I feel that the moment for unskilled/refugee migration has largely passed in developed economy due to the relative lack of jobs fit for purpose, and the modern welfare & medical-welfare states meaning that they are ultimately massive value extractors with multi-generational timeframes to even begin to break even.
It's not like there aren't alternate solutions. I'm not advocating for the West to be literally Qatar when it comes to guest workers, but there is clearly a market for people from the developing world coming to participate in developed economies without a vector for citizenship or participation in the welfare state.
Forgotpassword
5mo ago
That or the adjacent 'acts like a brat in a romance novel constantly and has no idea that there's supposed to be elements of push & pull instead of 120% push and sobbing about how a guy she actually liked no longer wants to talk to her'
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
True. I found my dating mostly trended Asian but in my experience trying to filter by non-obese, non-singlemom, non-tattooed, educated and white-collar job having meant that I was left with 90% Asian girls.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
My defacto Mother in Law & Grandmother in law practically fainted from shock when I proactively changed diapers and bottle fed the newborn. Not that they disproved, but the bar for childrearing involvement seems to be Marianas trench levels in East Asian cultures.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Super slowburn romances, lots of grand gestures of romance, incredibly pretty boys without particular masculine push.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Yeah. Lots of girls will do that where they'll make an app account, be exposed to the firehose of approaches, maybe do a date or two and if that person is good they've got a boyfriend and if that person is lacking they'll delete and be back in 6 months.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Yes. Definitely hugely skews that way in my geographic area.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Coffee Meets Bagel. Not sure how universal it is as an app but kind of focused on this demographic.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
The 2/10 was largely self-inflicted!
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I don't think it's totally unique to East Asia. Dated some white women who essentially exhibited the same behaviors (admittedly way less as a proportion), but there's a particular subgenre that is cultivated by East Asian cultures.
I'd consider the sort of 'bad dates' they go on essentially not going on any dates ever. They'll occasionally sally to make an app profile, book a single 30 minute coffee with somebody who passes a 3 week DM interview and then strike them from the record for whatever random reason onto the next.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I've got a baby and a longterm relationship with one and live with another. Both born in Asia and came across for University. I think you're tarring a bit too broadly, my partner's a lot more adventurous than her sister both romantically and career-wise, but having watched a few KDrama I do agree that it's a deranged way of forming romantic expectations. I do think this has been compounded by the online dating meta, since I've observed a ton of 'an interaction went slightly subpar, GOODBYE FOREVER' from talking to female friends.
Also having been 4-5 dates in with a few other East Asian girls where the pace of engagement was glacial during my time on the apps. Which made up the majority of my 'this 26 year old girl has essentially zero idea how to play the game' experiences.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I moved in with my partner and her younger sister (mid-late twenties East-Asian consultant) 6 months ago, and have had kinda first hand view of her sister's involvement in dating as a 100-hour week consultant who occasionally has an awkward first date... and yeah it's a whole subculture/form of existence I had no idea about until now.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
For some reason this doesn’t strike me as the most unique IP.
The estate of Marilyn Monroe will have to sue ScarJo for copyright infringement.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Honestly I think a lot of the tragedy of this is that these women get onto the dating apps and it's usually one of two outcomes from what I've heard.
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Week or two of chatter with guys, maybe a first/second date which doesn't really go anywhere and eventually churning for another few months after a moderately bad experience or since work picks up. Rinse and repeat twice a year from 25-35.
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Get absolutely played by somebody they don't have enough knowledge to know who's too good to be true and either abandon the apps or pivot into the most promiscuous decile for vague meandering reasons of revenge.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I've got a partner and a child now, actually doing pretty well!
But I do agree that 80 was excessive but this was me essentially starting from a 2/10 in attractiveness and going on a date who'd anybody who'd take me in order to develop social skills, my self-confidence and generally explore options.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I think that's understated. I recently went on an anthropological expedition by way of mass online dating. I had about 80 first dates over the course of 2022. I was mostly looking for upper-middle, educated, career-having women and I'd say about a quarter were palpably inexperienced to the point that I don't think they had any meaningful romantic experience by their mid-late twenties.
Like this wasn't coy 'oh teehee I'm a virgin, bats eyelids', this was like... obvious unfamiliarity with how dating even 'worked'. The common theme generally being some form of coming from a fairly repressive sub culture, focusing hard on education/career until finally getting to 26-27 and their parents' reproach shifted from 'When are you becoming a doctor' to 'When am I becoming a grandparent'. Then they'd sally out onto Hinge with a vague dream of meeting somebody nice, and no real experience beyond consuming KDramas.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I'd argue Yasuke is very close to being a fictional character that whoever's writing whatever media can project their own 'ooh there's a black guy in Japan' views upon. His historical context is like 2 lines of 'woah there's a black guy in Japan'.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
I just don't think Islam is particularly viable to run a successful modern economy/society unless you happen to be sitting on a large oil deposit.
You're also gesturing at precisely the "social atomisation" thing I'm describing: a few generations ago, asking out a girl with whom you have no overlap in social circles simply wasn't an option. A hundred years ago, if you lived in a town of a few thousand people and tried to ditch a girl after getting her pregnant, her father would be hammering on your front door with a shotgun before the day was out. Nowadays if you do that, she has no recourse.
I think this is also a large part of the non-stickiness of online dating relationships. You meet somebody, have a fairly good click but the thread drops or there's some light friction for whatever reason and there's essentially nil chance of randomly bumping into them again in person at a mutual friend's social event or however else people tended to get over light cases of 'the ick' historically. I, a few years ago, went through a hell of a lot of app dates and have since come out the other side with a longterm partner and a child. I still had a lot of time to formulate crotchety opinions about the dynamics in a lot of these things.
Now if somebody gets even slightly peeved at the other party, you've got one or maybe two DMs to try and rekindle things then you're dead in the water. Without even getting into the 'there is an unlimited supply of shiny new toys being served up via app' element.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
As a 29 year old with primarily Zoomerish co-workers in my niche I think even 'the bar' isn't really what it was.
Alcohol's increasingly expensive in most urban areas, I think social dynamics in bars is more about 'I go to the bar with my group of friends to be somewhat near other groups' instead of as much interlocking as you'd get historically and frankly my younger co-workers just don't really drink that much.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Hell if someone's fired a sleeper ship at us at the point of our first radio waves and it's not going to get here till some arbitrary future year I don't really consider it of major concern.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Personally I feel the entire anti-colonial case is entirely overblown. Independent Palestine likely equates to Lebanon 2.0, or another oil-poor Arabic mediocrity. Whilst I think it'd be better for all involved if Israel were located in Madagascar or the Northern Territory of Australia, that is not the case. They're certainly acting in a way inconsistent with modern Western ethics, but the vast majority of pro-Palestine Westerners would find living in independent Palestine to be a lot harder than living in 2024 Israel.
I also feel that if a return to a sufficient level of realpolitik and putting Western interests first is ever going to be pulled into the Overton window at this point, it's going to be through supporting Israel and hoping that the media eventually pivots away from the anti-colonialist meme. I fail to see the personal good of supporting Palestine, I fail to see how independent Palestine is a better lifestyle for practically anybody involved and I feel that this is potentially the lynchpin issue that will help to restore sanity to the world as a whole.
Forgotpassword
6mo ago
Yeah. 'Pass' is a valid selection.
Even more recently there's been a bunch of ex-dictatorships emerging into strong market economies without much outside influence. Most of the Asian Tigers would be closer to facist than anything else. Spain, etc.
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