self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
I'm a transhumanist doctor. In a better world, I wouldn't need to add that as a qualifier to plain old "doctor". It would be taken as granted for someone in the profession of saving lives.
At any rate, I intend to live forever or die trying. See you at Heat Death!
Friends:
A friend to everyone is a friend to no one.
User ID: 454
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
2d ago
Glad someone noticed.
The main takeaway? The competition was an absolute pain in the ass. Reading hundreds of thousands of tokens of AI generated prose and creating a working agentic harness + scaffolding was exhausting. It took dozens of cycles of iteration to find the right balance.
Funnily enough, what really made all the difference is that I ended up sharing a large corpus of my own text for reference - and it shows. The story I'm the most proud of is "The Bowl" (which is not nonsensical, at least to anyone who has or had a Labrador), but both my entries have clear self_made_human fingerprints. The Bowl made me sob while reading it for the first time, and I knew I wasn't going to get anything better than that. That's more than most human literature can ever say.
To the chagrin of people complaining about my use of AI assistance, at times, I know what I'm doing. Gwern, Roon, Alexander Wales and a few others think I know what I'm doing, and liked the output. Is it a surprise that I'm tired of arguing with idiots here when I could be off making money? $500 just about covers the effort, though I would have liked the full 10k. Ah well, I introduced myself as a dark horse candidate who might be worth giving a few hundred dollars in tokens just to see what he could do. And it worked.
Here's a public conversation I had with Gwern:
https://old.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/s/QiMdeD3OkG
I have plenty of additional thoughts, tips and things learned through trial and error plus bitter experience. Unfortunately, they're proprietary. Anybody who wants them better pay me for the privilege.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
4d ago
Basking in the glory of being an ACX finalist on my first and only entry - you fellas wish. Also dying of terrible musculosketal (partially psychosomatic pain). Hearteningly for my resolution, I've been doing push-ups to help with it so I hit my exercise goal? However, ibuprofen and paracetamol combined seem to do the trick. It's never been this bad, ever:
I had a lovely weekend that involved champagne (a gift, for clearing the Paper B). I was well rested and well fed. And yet, on Monday, I was as stiff as a board, half my muscles screaming at me to not go to the ward - the other half screaming to leave once I was there. But there is no problem that sufficient analgesia and stimulants can't solve, or there are, but I haven't found them quite yet. There are probably drugs for those too. At least I am spending my annual leave in bulk, and I fucking need it.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
6d ago
I have consumed plenty of Scotch in places that aren't Scotland, so no objections here. I'll see if we can fit it into the schedule. And I'll look up that museum, it sounds like the polar opposite of the Tate, and that can only be a good thing. Thanks!
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
6d ago
If you recommend it that strongly, I'll take a look! And thank you, I am easily bribed with alcohol, and I'm always happy to meet other Mottizens. I'll DM you if I'm in the area 👌
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
6d ago
Huh. That's very good to know, I'll look into seeing if we can just about squeeze it into our schedule. Thanks!
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
6d ago
Glasgow has excellent nightlife! I've already seen someone nick a traffic cone and carry it off proudly beneath their armpit, and I can only describe the experience as akin to accidentally walking into a fairy tale. It turns out I actually like the city, and not just because it seems like a promising place to be a senior shrink.
I have no specific interest in Loch Ness, so if you think Glen Coe is better or less of a tourist trap, I'll prioritize it instead.
If you are there for the cliffs more than the castle
The best part of the castle was ignoring it, or at least the argument about medieval laws around monogamy that I won
A castle loomed over the harbor like a very large, very literal metaphor about who was in charge of what. My friend and I debated whether owning a castle in medieval England gave you street cred or just a crowded calendar. This prompted a brief, speculative argument on medieval sexual economics. He posited that the local lord must have had a hundred wives. I countered that, as a Christian noble, he was likely constrained to one official wife for appearances, and ninety-nine plausible deniabilities, likely undocumented liaisons with the wives of the local fishermen. We failed to resolve this.
I've been to York, but haven't really explored it. I'll put a pin in that and Bath, though I'd prefer a shower. Appreciate the suggestions!
Honestly speaking, my brother is a homebody, just like me. As long as we see scenic places and drink plenty of booze, we'll be content. All the more so if we can do both at the same time.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
6d ago
These are excellent recommendations. You're right that trying to fit in a tour of NI in that time frame would be difficult, but I'll see what we can manage. Thanks a lot!
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
7d ago
Very kind of you to offer, and I'll let you know if I ever head that way. Always wanted to see what was up with the [REDACTED] Car Bombs.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
7d ago
That would be doable, but it would involve applying for a Schengen visa. Downside of having a meh passport. I've been too caught up to do that, and it's even more of a headache for my brother with the little notice that he has. Something for the future.
There's still more than enough to do in the UK to eat up a fortnight. It's small but dense with history and architecture.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
7d ago
I have my brother coming over for two weeks next month. It's somewhere between a much needed vacation for the poor sod (he's just finished his internship and is about to discover that life as a doctor is no fun) and a welfare check. I definitely need the vacation myself.
So I'd appreciate travel advice. The current rough concept of a plan:
- Spend 2-4 days in Edinburgh and Glasgow. Take him to the ridiculous gay pubs, bars and clubs I've seen to expand his horizons. Too late for Pride, and too early for Fringe, but that saves us money anyway.
- A day or two in the Highlands. Hitting up distilleries, swatting away midges, and pissing in Loch Ness. I see little point in showing him Aberdeen, Dundee or Inverness.
- Towards the end, we need to be Good Indian Boys and spend a few days with miscellaneous relatives in Manchester and London. As little time as we can get away with, since I do need to show him London.
- Heading down to Dover for a day. I loved the cliffs.
We're not particularly outdoorsy, or touristy, for the matter - we're not looking to go for scenic hikes or to see every tiny castle around. I'm focusing on nightlife as well as a quick visit at the Greatest Hits. The typical day involves some walking, sightseeing, drinking and nice meals - followed by more drinking. We will probably rent cars where it's reasonable to do so (not London or Edinburgh).
Any suggestions?
Well, I am glad you haven't called the place quits. And while I can respect your decision to not ask for or accept special privileges, I would also prefer that you put extra effort into being polite. Yes I know we have more than our fair share of idiots, but my approach to bad takes on AI these days is to chuckle sensibly and drink a beer instead of engaging.
Ah. After Fable came out, and I had the fortune of using it for a while before it got yoinked? I can't be arsed about GLM 5.2 or Mistral Baguette or whatever else came out last week. I experienced that rare state change of experiencing something clearly ahead of the pack, just right on time. The trend lines on log-linear curves remain steady. What it felt like using GPT 4. o1/o3. Where you don't even have to look at the benchmark scores to know what you're looking at is something else. I read the whole whitepaper for Mythos in a single evening, and it made my heart pound. I presume Fable will be back, at some point, or something of comparable general capability will come out of OAI or DM (I know 5.5 Pro is about as capable on cyber security, but that isn't my primary interest). About time the latter did something, Gemini 3.1 Pro is shoddy and wasn't that impressive when it came out. But Google is Google, now that they're awake, they're probably cooking.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
9d ago
At least it's not the other kind of AIDS, but I presume that's an American excuse for a beer that could potentially spread it around.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
10d ago
Thank you. I'd call you a bby girl too, but must settle for a more dignified "young lady". And sending kisses your way might be taken the wrong way.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
10d ago
I am fond of money. I made an amount that's nothing to sneeze at through writing, unless you have hay fever. But I have a day job that keeps me up at night. I also have too much dignity to tweet.
Anyway, I've never claimed that I am gone for good. And unfortunately, I am still a mod (and paid well for it) so I can't just start calling the people I particularly dislike retarded and spin up an alt. @Amadan would catch me.
The thing about Britain is that the Summer always ends, and at some point it’s cold and grey (worse up where you are) and there really isn’t anything better to do on a quiet sunday morning than argue here.
You don't have to tell me. It was 36 degrees in Manchester a day or two back, and even Scotland is above thawing. I swear I almost felt a warm breeze, but it could have been someone farting on the bus.
This place has had me when I'm depressed and have no time to spare but spared it anyway. Now I'm less depressed (but brittle), and I don't really want to spare the time. I can make bad puns at work that people don't want to laugh at, but end up wheezing to anyway (it's hay fever again). I can comfort the dying. I can flirt with the grannies and their still-too-old-for-me daughters and pick flowers that catch my attention and present them to someone I like, who unfortunately has asked me not to write about her. Maybe I really should just get married, there are a few promising candidates. And then I'll be right back here, to avoid my wife of course.
Yup. Becoming a dad will solve my problems. Or swap them out for new, more exciting ones. Soon enough. They got stale.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
10d ago
Ahem. I get laid most of the time. Even when depressed (it's therapeutic).
I am aware. If I wanted people to have a front-row seat to my life, as I have in the past, I would have written about it. At most, I let you guys look through the cracks when I open up the blinds.
I will be brief, and vague, because the details are for those who actually know me. Oh dear, on an edit pass, it seems we must settle for merely vague.
Just over 2 months ago, I was a wreck. A high-functioning, white knuckling wreck. But very close to falling apart. Many reasons, all of them valid ones. I do not make it a habit of worrying about what's not worth worrying about. I had my exam, brutal work, a seemingly terminal case of impostor syndrome because I have been treated very badly at an earlier placement.
I would say that I am a reasonably competent psychiatry trainee. I am also unreasonably against seeing a doctor if I can help it. If I was begging for an urgent psychiatric review, you can imagine it was bad. Bad enough to cut through the depression and exhaustion and akrasia and despair and beg for help. I got... not fuck all, something more than nil. Approximately about as much as I could expect from the NHS, which is why I got a lot of blood tests and investigations done on my own dime, on vacation time, before returning to work like a man walking to the noose. And that's why I'm going to be spending a small fraction of my psychiatry trainee wages on appointments with more senior psychiatrists, at some point. That's a circular economy for you.
I realized, to my despair, that I would have to work on fixing my own issues in my own way. It worked, or at least I have avoided ending up on the other side of the couch. And it had a strong helping hand from actual people, IRL, telling me, with actual sincerity and gratitude, that they appreciate me for who I am and what I can do. I won a decent amount of money through a rather challenging contest with big-name panelists you've heard of. Might talk about that one at some point. I am, of course, a finalist in the ACX book review contest. I had/have excellent, talented and supportive colleagues who went out of their way to make my life easier - while showing me they care. I have a good boss, an experience I didn't expect given that the last couple have been useless as an asshole after a colostomy. A rather thankless job, where I end up getting thanked by my patients on a regular basis anyway. I am not lying about the compliments, I have better things to do than make up things on the internet for clout. I have been doing exactly those things.
And, of course, my dreams/hopes/nightmares are coming true. AGI is right around the corner. Am I allowed a "I told you fuckers half a decade in advance?". Is it here? No. But it's gone from knocking on the door to shimmying the locks or preparing to kick down the door. I am not sure I can achieve everything I've wanted to achieve before it kicks it down and makes itself at home on my couch.
So I'm having fun, and making hay while the sun shines. I've been present in reality. The parasocial engagement of arguing with idiots on an Underwater Basket Weaving forum has lost much of its charm. Not all of it, clearly, since I was here yesterday, and show up every week when @FtttG pings me in this thread. As the Scots would say, I cannae be arsed to deal with some of you. Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what makes you cheer.*
I have a job, a social life, responsibility, and a beautiful summer to enjoy and photograph. I was incredibly stressed, running on fumes and quiet desperation till I ran out of the fumes. I'm now only moderately stressed, and grimly determined to have a good time anyway. Life's actually good. Very far from perfect, but I'll take the scenic route. You have seen me severely distressed, close to breaking point, solving my own problems instead of bitching about it, and now doing what I like, when I like it. How queer.
*This is not a personal attack on you, most of the people here are fine. I'd call a handful actual friends. I was just never kidding about feeling sympathetic towards @DaseindustriesLtd when he picked up his ball and went home (or was shown the door for a while, wonder if the ban has expired) . I have no interest in flaming out, I'm not saying I'm going anywhere, but I genuinely do not care about this place as much as I used to. I lack the spare time, or the spare energy, and my Ritalin is well-employed getting me through my job with little spare to write essays on the shitter. My priorities are finally about as straight as I am. Good luck to the rest of you.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
10d ago
Thanks bby girl 😘
I've got the email that I've been expecting/dreading to show up in my inbox for a while. It showed up 5 weeks in, which is a reasonable duration to wait for antidepressants to kick in.
Well, I'm pleased to say I've passed my MRCPsych Paper B. Only one more exam to go before I'm halfway to being a senior shrink. It's more impressive than it sounds, I hope, because training takes a ridiculous amount of time in this country.
I got the ward sweets. And my colleague the Percy Pigtails I couldn't find last time, when she was having her own mental breakdown with her wedding coming up (or hypoglycemia). I flummoxed her when she asked me if I had ever tried one by asking if it was halal. She actually checked and said it was vegan friendly. I said that I'm fine with that, given that I'm not a Muslim. Poor thing, she's genuinely sweet and sincere and vulnerable to my brand of humor.
Swung by the consultants room before that, and told my CS I'd made it, despite giving the exam in the state he'd seen me in when I was a few weeks into the placement. And offered more chocolate to a cute baby someone brought along, but she was on a liquid diet. Her mother accepted it and promised to hold onto it in her stead, but I have a sneaking suspicion she ate it. Oh well, I can always get more chocolate. And more reasons to get others chocolate.
And of course, I video called my family first. They were happy. They knew their little boy - he's never failed an exam in his life that wasn't at an optometrist.
I had to stay back late at work, because of course I did. But nothing can get me down today.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
11d ago
Please see my reply to George.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
11d ago
Indian furries either never existed, or like the Asiatic cheetah, have gone extinct. They won't even survive the journey to the air-conditioned convention center.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
11d ago
I'm not opening that video, unfortunately. Instagram seems to think I'm a gay Chinese woman, and YouTube shouldn't get any ideas.
But when the uwu maid outfit gay guy is less comfortable with a one-night stand than urquan
I shall not intervene in a lovers tiff. Unless you pay for couples counseling.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
11d ago
Social technology is grossly inferior to medical technology. We couldn't shame or blame or diet away the obesity epidemic. Ozempic is doing what no amount of moralizing can.
https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/10/society-is-fixed-biology-is-mutable/
Society is really hard to change. We figured drug use was “just” a social problem, and it’s obvious how to solve social problems, so we gave kids nice little lessons in school about how you should Just Say No. There were advertisements in sports and video games about how Winners Don’t Do Drugs. And just in case that didn’t work, the cherry on the social engineering sundae was putting all the drug users in jail, where they would have a lot of time to think about what they’d done and be so moved by the prospect of further punishment that they would come clean.
And that is why, even to this day, nobody uses drugs.
On the other hand, biology is gratifyingly easy to change. Sometimes it’s just giving people more iron supplements. But the best example is lead. Banning lead was probably kind of controversial at the time, but in the end some refineries probably had to change their refining process and some gas stations had to put up “UNLEADED” signs and then we were done. And crime dropped like fifty percent in a couple of decades – including many forms of drug abuse.
Saying “Tendency toward drug abuse is primarily determined by fixed brain structure” sounds callous, like you’re abandoning drug abusers to die. But maybe it means you can fight the problem head-on instead of forcing kids to attend more and more useless classes where cartoon animals sing about how happy they are not using cocaine.
What about obesity? We put a lot of social effort into fighting obesity: labeling foods, banning soda machines from school, banning large sodas from New York, programs in schools to promote healthy eating, doctors chewing people out when they gain weight, the profusion of gyms and Weight Watchers programs, and let’s not forget a level of stigma against obese people so strong that I am constantly having to deal with their weight-related suicide attempts. As a result, everyone…keeps gaining weight at exactly the same rate they have been for the past couple decades. Wouldn’t it be nice if increasing obesity was driven at least in part by changes in the intestinal microbiota that we could reverse through careful antibiotic use? Or by trans-fats?
How prescient. Lucky that I've made my peace with never being as good as Scott. Well, I'm content with being the fourth best psychiatrist blogger on the internet. I can only name two who are better, but eh, humility is clearly my greatest strength.
Likewise I don't agree that we should just let them die from venereal disease but it should be doable to understand why some people feel that way.
I understand these people, on an intellectual level. I understand why schizophrenics are the way they are too, but I don't relate to them from a phenomenological perspective or like their actions.
self_made_human
amaratvaṃ prāpnuhi, athavā yatamāno mṛtyum āpnuhi
11d ago
I am, in fact, annoyed to read this. But only slightly, and neither of us need to lose sleep over it. That sentence is, unfortunately or fortunately, entirely human written. With the thumbs I've been twiddling. There are only so many ways to rephrase or repurpose "A lie can travel around the world and back again while the truth is lacing up its boots.”—Mark Twain. That em-dash being part of the Google search snippet I've snipped and pasted.
I suppose you must have been prettier or more twink-passing than me, because I can't say I've been plied with booze on a regular basis. Not that I would accept the booze, really. I can buy my own drinks, and to quote myself:
Etiquette required reciprocation. Also, heterosexual uncertainty suggested that free liquor in a gay bar might have exchange rates I was not qualified to negotiate, so I bought two shots and took them over.
I would take issue with your comment in another reply actually, that straight men don't engage constantly in illicit sex because they can't. Yes, some would, and I know them. I wouldn't, could have (perhaps even still could) and haven't, and even for those who might say "yes you have" I'd counter not nearly to the same degree as the gay dudes I've known who have had triple or more digit partners. There's something else going on. I could be wrong of course.
I do think you're wrong. And most gay men don't have triple digit body counts. Google informs me that depending on who you ask, the median is 19-23. The mean is higher, because some of them really get around.
That is why I chose "[straight] male supermodel" as the reference class. I've done pretty well with the ladies, and I am quite keen on shacking up and settling down. But if I could get away with, I would very much have racked up or stacked up similar numbers by that point. Unfortunately, I'm only decent looking, funny and in possession of a modest amount of social status, not a supermodel. I have to work for it.
In other words, straight male sexuality is bottlenecked by the lack of women willing to really exercise it. That is not true for the gay men. The straight men who are hot enough to have as many women as they desire tend to sleep around a lot. Good for them. I don't deem it pathological in either instance, as long as it doesn't make them bitter and unhappy (which it sometimes can). And I can't pity them, because I would trade places in a heartbeat with the straight ones.
Huh. I should purchase something. God knows I don't play any of the games I buy, but I can pass it on to the grandkids. A slight pain is the fact that I've still got an account based in India, because it occasionally pays off in terms of geographical arbitrage. But at other times, it makes a quick spur of the moment purchase difficult.
Right now, I'd recommend anyone into tactics give Menace a whirl. It's still a while away from feature-complete, but the recent updates and a few mods make me quite close to booting it back up again. Got my money's worth with about 20 hours of playtime already, and it has the potential to provide hundreds.
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